TOP THREE

What a wonderful week it's been at Mcsweeneys.net. Here now: three most sidesplitting web exclusives of the week:

1. STATUS UPDATES SINCE MY MOTHER BECAME MY FACEBOOK FRIEND

2. METROID'S SAMUS ARAN SPEAKS OUT ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE

3. CHARACTER FROM A THOMAS PYNCHON NOVEL OR SOMEONE WHO RECENTLY SENT ME SPAM?