FUJIYA & MIYAGI

Another busy day at the office.

The state government of California offers many employment opportunities. There’s all sorts of paper-pushing career positions for people who love the benefits, the office parties, the savings plans, the rideshare networks, Sacramento, and the U.S.A. A majority of these people don’t mind the idea of being a biddable cog in the byzantine conduit that is government.

There are also opportunities for students and temporary workers. Being a temporary worker for the state is, six times out of seven, like having your sanity tested by a community of monkeys that control how often you get to go to the bathroom. I’ve had these jobs, though my current job as mailboy extraordinaire is one of those special, lucky exceptions. It's an easy, lackadaisical carnival ride for one of the most-profitable state agencies. I've been at this job for about a year. In that time I’ve banded together with a team of student-assistants and younger coworkers. Together, we form a commanding in-the-office cool-crowd. I have friends; it’s nice.

Part of being friends nowadays means you send each other surveys. Before this job, I’d only seen these things on Myspace and in spam. Sometimes the survey’s are themed, as in “Take This Survey If You Think You Have A Wicked Tattoo!!!!!”, other times they are not themed, as in “Take my Survey!!!!!!!!” I’ve always avoided surveys, just based on how tedious they were to read. My office-friends have complained about my survey-ignorance in the past. Sensing the time was right, my eyes lit up last week when I found an unread 71 question behemoth in my inbox. I read the questions. This thing is like the Moby Dick of online surveys, even though questions 34 and 35 have been mysteriously omitted. In the future I'm going to continue avoiding these things, but I'll admit that the majority of this one was fun to do. Here’s how I answered:

SURVEY SUBJECT: RE: you brats!

1.What are your initials?
A.A.D.

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
At the moment, when in Sacramento, I like the light cotton comfort of American Apparel shirts—it’s just about all I can tolerate in the heat. If I’m in the Bay, nothing feels better than my Ben Sherman Military jacket. I also have these new Nike Vandals and a shirt from the artist Geoff McFetridge, but I’m saving those for an EXTRA special moment in my life. (Turns out Mr. McFetridge actually designed a pair of Vandals. Wow.)

3. Last thing you ate?
Broccoli and chicken.

4. Bang bang click click bang bang click…who died?
My interest in this question.

5. I say Shotgun, you say?
Wedding!

6. Last person you hugged?
I think my dad last Sunday, or my friend Eric last Monday at Press, because I love my dad and I only get to see my friend Eric every couple months when he’s on tour.

7. Do YOU want to be a paperback writer?
What’s a paperback writer?

8. How many U.S. states have you been to?
Oh! They have those maps that you can click on for this! You can do it at this site. I’ve been to 35 states. Man, what a reminder of how much I’ve yet to do.

9. How many of the U.S. states have you lived in?
Just one. So far.

10. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
Probably Roz from Frasier. As my producer she’s always been there for me, but I never really looked at her like that until that one night after she made me laugh so hard that some ’87 merlot came out my nose at the station’s Christmas party.

11. Name something you like physically about yourself?
I like my face.

12. Who is your best friend?
Probably Rachel from Friends. She’s always been there for me, especially since Monica and Chandler tied the knot and everything is became, like, them, them, them all the time.

13. Have you ever ran away?
Only from certain commitments.

14. Why are you still up?
I took one sip of a Rockstar yesterday. That shit is gross.

15. Who/What made you angry today?
Honestly: Hillary Clinton. There’s so much about her that I can’t get behind, and it didn’t help that she paraded most of those things in my face yesterday. She says that “The best thing I can do to continue my very vigorous support of the troops is to begin to bring them home.” Only she said that in justification of kowtowing to the president on war funding. That situation is so fucked: the Republican’s seem happy with their skybox in Hell and the Dem’s are still worried about toeing the middle ground with rhetoric that might have meant something in early ’02. I want to know that candidates are people, not puppets for strategy teams mitigating polling stations for an election that’s a year and a half out. This is what irks me about politics: the established parties campaign for who can be the least smear-able. I don’t understand what that has to do with the principles of government. Those principles are divisive by nature—someone will be smeared, but then something will actually be accomplished, too. That would be nice.

16. Favorite Food?
My mom’s secret recipe baby back ribs. I also like sprouts.

17. Favorite holidays?
I like holidays, but religion makes me nervous (I’m not sure how to care about processes that were invented in, like 54 A.D.) so I kind of prefer non-religious holidays. Besides, how cool is Halloween?

18. Do you download music?
Exclusively. Right now I recommend Klaxons, Fujiya & Miyaga, R. Kelly, and Maroon 5.

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Yes. Especially my green Lacoste’s that I got for $2.50. I hate it when they are dirty, as they are mind-bogglingly comfortable.

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Bono dedicated “In The Name Of Love” to me in the ‘90’s on that tour with the big lemon. Prince sang me “Purple Rain” in the womb in early ’83. Michael Jackson got offended and dedicated “Thriller” to me in ’84. There’s too many to count, really.

23. Do you love anyone?
I love my family and my band for putting up with my oddities.

24. Do you like Bush?
Not the president, no.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
No.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting:
Yeah. Snake River level 5.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
Yes.

28. How much money ya got in ya pocket?
$10.

29. Have you met a real redneck?
Yes. We played in Texarkana, right on the boarder of Texas and Arkansas. Wow. Stayed with this guy who had a homemade catfish pond, which is not to say that he was a redneck at all—he wasn’t. But we got lost and asked for directions at a church, which was like a buglight for rednecks.

30. Dark and cold...and watery?
Next.

31. What are you listening to right now?
Police “King Of Pain,” I’m learning this song with my vocal coach. Sting is a really good doppelganger for my voice. Did you hear that Stewart Copeland call Sting a “petulant pansy?” Burn.

32. What is your current fav song?
Fujiya & Miyagi “Collarbone” (BRILLIANT MP3 below). The hook goes like this “Got to get a new pair of shoes/To kick it with her/To kick it with you/Sock it to me!” I (always) want a new pair of shoes to kick it with you, so I can really identify.

33. What was the last movie you watched?
Inland Empire. It was really good.

36. What are you afraid of?
Inertia.

37. How many piercings have you had?
One.

38. How many pets do you have?
None.

39. What's one thing you've learned recently?
Puma is trying to sell their company to this corporation called PPR for over €5B. That corporation owns some really high end lines like Prada.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Double espresso.

42. Have you ever fired a gun:
I kinda hope I never have to. I think it’s a pretty outdated mode of protection/communication. But I might try it once in order to justify my desire to never do it again.

43. Are you missing someone?:
Yeah.

44. Fav. TV show?
30 Rock! And Entourage! And Twin Peaks, if I’m allowed to take it to the vaults like that!

45. Do you have an iPod?:
Yes. I haven’t had any problems with it until this week, when all 60 gigs of music just disappeared. I didn’t really know what to think. Nave told me that when the same thing happened to his iPod, he found it surprisingly "liberating.”

46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb?
Yes. Sometimes it’s so flattering (Adrian Grenier) and sometimes it’s so confusing (Lenny Kravitz). (I guess Kravitz is handsome, but oh my god, what a schmuck.)

48. Who would you like to see right now?
I can’t believe Shannon is gone on Lost. I feel like we barely knew each other.

49. Favorite movie of all time?
I’m not sure. I really like Rushmore. That one is up there. I think Purple Rain is phenomenal, too, though I’ve only seen it 3 times. (I’ve seen Rushmore 10 times or something.) Also, it’s worth mentioning that I love David Lynch. He writes busy storylines. Mulholland Drive is up there.

50. Do you find yourself loved?
Yup yup.

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to?
Watching porn in the high school.

52. Favorite flower(s)?
Wisteria, which we had a lot of growing up. When those things are healthy and blooming they create the coolest canopy of green and purple.

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
Plain with fresh pepper.

54. What magazines are you reading?
I subscribe to The Believer, which focuses on, I don’t know, that busy fringe where lit culture meets pop culture? The current issue has an interview with a toy inventor who’s spent twelve years inventing colored bubbles that don’t stain, which no one’s been able to do until now. I also subscribe to Interview, which Andy Warhol invented. It’s kind of ridiculous, movie stars and industry types and writers and music peoples all interview each other. But I love it. I had a subscription to the New Yorker in 2005, and I miss that. Also, my parents only get the New York Times on Sundays and they save me that magazine. Haughty as that sounds, it’s really interesting. I also love Tokion, Flaunt, Fader, and all those silly, expensive glossy’s that I can’t afford.

55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yes.

56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently?
Shannon from Lost.

58. What's something that really bugs you?
Politics.

60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
Yes. I imagine he’d like me, too.

61. What's your favorite smell?
Home cooking.

62. Favorite baseball team?
I used to love the White Sox for no real reason. I still have like 250 Frank Thomas baseball cards. Now, whatever. I’m going to see the Giants and the A’s in SF in a week. Thanks dad.

63. Favorite cereal?
Grape-Nuts with milk and honey. I’ve always wondered about the name Grape-Nuts. Even with this wikipedia description, it’s still a mystery: “Neither nor nuts have ever been ingredients in the cereal. The original formula for Grape-Nuts called for grape sugar, which is composed mostly of glucose unlike most other sugar sources and food sweeteners which are principally sucrose. This, combined with the "nutty" flavor of the cereal inspired its name. But some employees at Post claim that the cereal got its name because the tiny nuggets resemble grape seeds or grape "nuts".”

65. What's the longest time you've gone without sleep?
I’m guessing 40-50 hours.

66. Last time you went bowling?
With Pacey and Dawson. Jen and Joey weren’t talking at that point, so they didn’t show.

67. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
I could write 1,000 words on this one, easy. The storage closet in my first apartment comes to mind, as does the drivers seat of our van. There’s been so many gross truckstops. I’ve been under a few kitchen tables. The smallest couch I’ve ever fit on was in a dorm room at Columbia. It was about four feet long. I worked at a summer camp when I was 18 and we slept under the stars a bunch. I felt really vulnerable, but really awesome, too. Shooting stars do not get old.

68. Who was your last phone call?
My dad.

69. Last time you were at work?
I am at work. Is this the best they could come up for question 69?

70. What's the closest orange object to you?
Is the best they could come up with for question 70? Tangentially, did you know that Prince has a line of cologne coming out? Finally. I’m reading this about it: “As for the perfume, Prince will make the world just a little more funky July 7, when he launches 3121, his very own fragrance collection. (Sadly, the perfume is not called Purple Rain or Black Sweat.) According to his website, the fragrance is comprised of "a refreshing sparkle of crisp bergamot, opulent jasmine and gardenia." Alas, "opulent jasmine" isn't exactly "sex and sin," but it could be the jump-off.”

71. What did you drink today?
The coffee. Major Dickason’s roast.

The video for "Collarbone."


Live.

Right click-and-save to download an MP3 of “Collarbone,” from the album Transparent Things by Fujiya & Miyagi.


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